Starting Over

So I have been delinquent on posting and a lot has happened since my last post. Let's catch up shall we on what happened in the past 15 months...

I have graduated college
I got a job in event planning
Realized that I hated that job so bad that it sent me into a "funk"
Quit that job!
Got a brand new job at Whole Foods as a cake decorator

And now here we are. Glad to be back. Now I am starting over, turning over a new leaf! I am fastly approaching 24 years old and I don't feel like wasting anymore time. So from now on I am going to write. I don't care if anyone reads this but I am using this as an outlet. And on the outside chance someone reads this and is helped or can relate well then that will just be a perk!

So here's to any one out there who may be reading - this is the beginning.. Join me!

It's Been a While..

I know, I know...I haven't posted in like...foreverrr

But deal with it. A lot has been going on and none of it was really important to talk about except now.

This morning a close friend of mine was taken away tragically and much too soon - Rest in Peace Steve...Always in my heart



P.S. - RIP Farrah and Michael....sorry for not going into detail about them - I didnt know them personally so I just dont feel the same way.

The Pig Has Reared Its Ugly Head..

Rhode Island has 1 confirmed and 3 probable cases of Swine Flu (H1N1). Sucks

Ya wanna know where the 3 probable cases are...at JWU - sucks even more!

Because of this classes are cancelled Monday - doesn't suck as much

Approximate estimation of the amount of JWU students in Mexico within a few weeks of the outbreak there...30% - sucks the worst!

If any of those spring break pains in the asses gets me sick...there will be hell to pay!! =)


I am taking precautionary measures though to make sure. I am trying to get at least 7hrs of sleep a night, eating nutritous meals, exercising, washing my hands like I have OCD, carrying around hand sanitizer like its liquid crack, and NOT MAKING OUT WITH ANY PIGS (literally and figuratively)

My Music!

I've gone country y'all!!

Nothing new though...I've loved country for a while. I came across the new album by Miranda Lambert. I loved her first album "Kerosene" and her second "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" does not disappoint. She's super honky-tonk and has a thick Texas twang so her songs definitely cannot be mainstreamed like Taylor Swift, but her songs are fun and honest. The album came out this summer but I just bought it recently.

Makes a great sing-a-long album for car drives =)

Obsession...Table for 1

So less than a week ago I gave in and read Twilight highly skeptical....I was so wrong. I read the entire 498 pages plus the 1st chapter of New Moon in less than 24 hours. I couldnt put the book down!!

Then my roommate (who got me to read it after she discovered it too) got me to watch the movie and let me tell you I have watched it everyday since we rented it on Friday...I am obsessed!! It's also not a terrible thing that Rob Pattinson and his "brothers" in the movie are all easy on the eyes ;) I cannot wait to get my hands on all the books...although I need to pace myself a little more than I did with the first book!!

P.S. - New Moon comes out November 20, 2009 and the Eclipse comes out in June 2010!!! =)

It's happened...

I've become Twitter-fied!! Now I am going to be like all the cool celebs and let everyone know what I am doing! ...Maybe some one will hack into my Twitter account and write all sorts of things that will get me on E! News ;)

Amazing..

Seeing a pink version of an animal is no longer a drug-induced sighting...

Pink Dolphins!!

I freakin love this =)

Happy Birthday Brosef!!

I kno how many u iz now...nd iz mor den dat kitteh =)

So it begins...

Well Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) has come and gone and while everyone is recovering from the excessive amounts of booze and/or food comsumed the night before, the good Catholics drag their asses to church for the first time since Christmas Eve and get ashes.

It also is the begining of Lent - the 40 days and 40 nights that Jesus sent in the desert tempted by the devil. ( Small religion lesson for all those who do not know) - Anyways...traditionally during this period of time you are supposed to give something up or pledge to do something good...something along those lines.

Every year as far as I can remember, I have been told to give up something like junk food, or TV after dinner or something like that and as long as I can remember I have not lasted the 40 days at all. Each year after I admitted defeat, I would say that next year I would give something up for real and that would make up for the fact that I break all sorts of commandments.

Two years ago I decided to give something up that was starting to become a regular thing in my life. I decided to give up smoking pot along with my roommate for Lent. I was so proud of myself when I went all of the Lenten season without smoking pot at all...I felt really really good about myself. Easter rolled around and my roommate spent it with me at my house and we were all set to go back to school when BANG.....car accident less than 3 miles from campus.

I took that as a clear sign that giving something up for Lent doesnt mean that the good Lord if by your side...so I stopped.

If I decide to give something up for Lent...I will be less naive in thinking that it cancels out everything else.

Lousiana...

is the pelican state...

If you dont know what that means then your not as cool as you think!!....sorry

Well I am THAT guy...

I sorta ruined my roommates surprise party...

Not entirely my fault though. I was out in charge of getting everyone to come because apparently I'm the only one who knows everybody and knows some voo-doo magic way of getting in touch with them...

Anyways, we were getting all ready yesterday and we start finding out that some people weren't even going to be there until way later because of work. So last minute we decide to postpone the party. I started calling everyone I was supposed to and let them all know. 

Cut to about 3 hours later...we are just chillin on the couch and all of a sudden all of my roommates friends from back home show up!! I was mortified. Apparently my roommate's sister (who I used to get through to her friends from home) either misunderstood my message I sent her or didn't read the entire thing because she never told them that it was postponed. 

Even though my roommate had a great time, and her friends from home had a great time, and I had a great time, my other 2 roommates I'm positive are abou ready to rip my face off. One of them kept telling me last night that everything was fine and that she wasn't mad. The other mad it seem like she was ok and then would say something like "whatever, we'll talk later" and then avoid me the whole night. 

This just keeps adding to everything...I just want to go home. I cant even be happy about how good everything actually turned out  because of them. And I know that they will act cordial about things and not say anything but they will continue on making me feel like I am the 3rd wheel in my own house....can you believe that? 

Surprising..

Brangelina acting cold...mean...and somewhat heartless towards Ryan Seacrest...no! couldn't be! say it ain't so!! I mean, Ryan Seacrest is such a hard-hitting - nothing-but-the-facts journalist...I can't believe they would snub him... 

;) too funny!

I Know It's Late but....

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!

=)

In Three Words...

..Fuck my life!!!

I get to exit 6 on 95 going back to school and all of a sudden my car starts smoking!! I get off the exit and pull over half expecting a massive explosion to happen momentarily...freaking out, I call Dad (I mean seriously, what else would I do??) After that I called my friend Erin (thank goodness she lives 10 minutes from where I broke down) Then a cop comes and forces me to call AAA before I can call anyone else. AAA takes an hour and 15 minutes to come tow me ( they said it would be 30 minutes tops)...so I am waiting with Erin which was nice to catch up!! I tell the tow-man to leave my keys under the drivers side mat...he left them in the mechanic drop box...awesome! Dad and Ryan come up to put antifreeze/coolant in my car because we all figure it just overheated...wrong! Upon further inspection, the entire passenger side floor front and back are soaked with antifreeze...awesome! So needless to say it is probably heating cord (...or something like that?)

So now I am stranded in Providence and break is 4 days away....WTF??

....was this fucking necessary...no!

Faith

I believe in God.

I honestly say my prayers before I go to bed at night.

I have unwavering faith in his power and that he has some "bigger plan" already laid out. 

I believe that he wouldn't throw any hurdle in my way if he knew I couldn't jump it.

With that being said, I feel like something big, no huge actually, is going to happen in my life that will make every unanswered "why?" and all these mental, physical, and emotional obstacles seem small and meaningless.

Hopefully it will come in the form of a string of blockbusters that gain me fame and recognition from all of Hollywood's greats, a star on Hollywood Boulevard, and hell, even an Oscar or 6...

...that's what I'm talkin about ;) 

Truth and Lies

I was in Urban Outfitters the other day and as I watched my friends look through and try on all sorts of clothes that I cant fit in or even afford for that matter...I decided to do the only thing I could do and leaf through pages of interesting books they have on sale. I came across a book called PostSecret by Frank something-or-other. It was a project he did where he invited people to send him postcards with secrets that no one else knew. Some of them were hilarious, some were extremely sad, but most were relatable. I decided that night to go and try the same thing. I wrote truths about myself that only I know on post-it notes. I wasnt surprised at the things i wrote down, I was surprised with what they all had in common....honesty

I have a problem with honesty. I cannot truly be honest with people (or myself sometimes). I am so afraid of people not liking me that I can't be straightforward and honest when I want to be. Because I can't be honest, I have become a phenomenal liar. Not something I am too proud of. I tell people that the sky is green and I can make them believe me. I lie so much that sometimes I dont even remember what the truth is. Its a dangerous place to be....caught in a web of lies, but thats why I make sure I am good at what I do. Try and understand, I do not tell massive, life altering lies - I tell small white lies to and about people who I know their path's will never cross. 

Ughh this is so bad...I know. And I want to stop but my life seems so boring. My character backstory is boring. I have never done anything crazy or exciting, whether with friends or family that makes me cooler than the next person and frankly, I want to be envied. I want people to look at me and say.."damn, she's so cool. Why doesn't this happen to me??" I know...lame, but it's the truth (see! maybe I can change). It's not that I can't be honest, it's that I don't want to be honest because the truth is way boring. 

Ok...that felt good to get out there. I know I ramble but it makes it that much more exciting to read - you never know where my mind goes next!!

P.S. - Something tells me this New Year's Resolution will be quite long....

Cherry on Top

So...Im here at school. I got back like 40 minutes ago...I enjoyed a nice weekend home but had to come back to work at the hell-hole that is the Radisson until the end of Thanksgiving Day. I am already pissed about being back here and having to stay here all alone and to my chilly surprise when I get in the door....its fucking freezing in the house. My first thought "well its cold out so Ill crank the heat up and see what happens.."...The heat is at 75!! We havent run it higher than 70 so far...RED FLAG!...Right now I am all bundled up ( winter jacket, sweatshirt, gloves, scarf, etc..) waiting for my landlord to get back to me...hopefully I dont freeze to death in the meantime...

Ya Wanna Know Something...

I think that IMing each other while they are in the same room just so they can talk about someone else in the room is really fucking immature and annoying....GROW THE FUCK UP!

...having a bad day...couldn't you tell?!?

Something to keep tucked in your mind...

You cannot make everyone happy - and the more you try the harder it gets. 

It is especially hard though when you are the most unhappy of all. 

For a second you need to take a step back and realize that people can fend for themselves

... they have been for centuries.

The most important thing is looking out for #1... you

You only have a short time here so you need to make the most of it.

Rid your live of bad energy, bad people, and bad haircuts.

Embrace everything.

Every leaf on a tree, every cloud in the sky, every single car in rush hour traffic.

There will be things you see everyday that you will never appreciate until the one day you don't see it...

Don't take anyone or anything for granted.

Realize that you make not be making the right decision for everyone else, but that's okay as long as it is the right decision for you. 

Your parents may get mad - but they still love you.

Your siblings may complain about you - but they still love you too.

Remember that sometimes arguments are needed to keep everyone on their toes.

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass - but learning how to dance in the rain.

And no matter how bad the storm gets there will always be sun soon after...

Start believing that someday you won't be forgotten and you won't be a shadow. 

That one day when someone thinks of you, it'll bring a smile to their face and give them a warm feeling inside. 

It's okay to cry - and I do, 

It's okay to be wrong - and I am. 

Bad days will be hard...but bad hair days will be harder

Life isn't about being popular, being right, or being perfect, it's about making mistakes and learning from them, taking chances, having fun and most of all, 

LIVING

The Golden Rule...

..is looking somewhat tarnished!

We have been taught about The Golden Rule and have had it instilled into our very being from Day 1 of kindergarten. "Do to others as you would want done to you." It seems sensible and not all that hard to do... except it is. 

I would like to think that I am a good person, extremely high-strung, over-analytical, and a huge worrier - but nonetheless a good person. I do my best to be an upstanding citizen, help out whenever necessary and brush my teeth at least twice a day. But maybe I am too nice and I am in such desperate need to feel accepted by all my friends and family that I bend over backwards for them and - excuse my language - I only get fucked. I change my schedule around and go out of my way to make sure that everyones needs are met all the while completely neglecting # 1...ME! But when I need the favor done I get excuses and bullshit and because I hate confrontation I once again change everything around so that I can find a new way to deal with my problems. 

I dont know...maybe I am not really a good person. Maybe I am a lazy procrastinator when I really think that I am doing well. Maybe I do look the other way when the garbage needs to be taken out or leave dishes in the sink because I dont want to empty the dishwasher...but honestly, does that mean that I am not allowed to catch a fucking break once in a while?? Ughh...

...and I wonder why I am slowly but surely turning cynical and bitter

P.S. - if you care about me at all....DO NOT let me get a cat!! - that will only make it worse because I will be known as the cynical, bitter, CAT LADY..